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Archive for March, 2010

Still here

Every day I think “I really need to write in my blog” and then every night I think “I still didn’t write in my blog”. I’ve been sick since I got back from Mexico. Literally. I’ve done 2 rounds of antibiotics, steriods, and a whole slew of over-the-counter gunk to no avail. Thursday I’ll have a CT scan of my sinuses to see if we can figure out what’s going on in there. Feeling like poo just makes it hard for me to do much more than what HAS to be done around here and honestly I’m doing really good to even accomplish that much. So my little blog has suffered.

However, I’m still here. Still feeling led by the Lord. Still praying that somehow Brad and I will reach the same point someday…whatever that may be.

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I’ve been thinking. Which is generally a dangerous thing for me. But I’ve been thinking and just trying to take a step back from what I’m feeling. There was some serious discussing going on between me and the hubster. Serious discussing that led to serious tears on my part. Don’t freak out too much, it really doesn’t take a whole lot to make me cry. I was just frustrated. Frustrated that I can have the feelings that I have and he can have totally different ones.

I don’t have any idea what will come from any of this. I try to push it all away and it’s still there. I waiver between feeling disabedient to feeling like I can do whatever I want. I pray, pray, and pray some more and end up with even more questions. Questions that I just wonder if I’ll ever have answers to. Makes me just want to throw in the towel.

Then I run across a post like this. One that seems to put everything I’m feeling into words. Words that make sense!

Happy kids? Who needs ’em?!

Thanks to my friend for sharing this blogger. I’ll definitely be checking her out again.

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